


Sometimes perfect is not enough

by Daydreaming101



Category: Arctic Monkeys
Genre: Break Up, Dating hardships, F/M, Loss, Reality shock, Sadness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-11
Updated: 2018-10-11
Packaged: 2019-07-29 09:00:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,147
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16260947
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Daydreaming101/pseuds/Daydreaming101
Summary: You and Alex have been dating for two years now, but things have been increasingly harder to sustain, especially for you.





	Sometimes perfect is not enough

**Author's Note:**

> I was more affected by all this that is happening in the fandom than I'd like to say and if you want to remain out of it this is where you stop reading.
> 
> This is a sad one, this isn’t nice and you might hate it or, hopefully, understand it and like it. I started writing and before I even knew I had half the story outlined. Think of this as a story inspired by The Last 5 Years (genius musical) way of presenting a plot.

You had watched the concert that night from the media pit, you needed to see him one last time in his full glory before you did it and now alone in his dressing room before the after party seemed like as any. “I can’t do this anymore.” 

*two years ago* 

“You may wait in the surgery, Doctor will be right with you.” Alex got up from the waiting-room chair and followed the nurse into the surgery where he sat on the examination table, quite used to this routine. The door opens and in you walk, dressed smartly in tailored pants and blouse with your white lab coat on top, “Hello Mr… Turner. How are we feeling?” Alex pouted and wrapped a hand around his throat, he hated being sick, “I fink I ‘ave a *cof* sore throat.” You put on your gloves and started the examination, “Poor fella, let’s get you better.” 

You do the regular examination, checking his throat and ears, heart and lungs. “Well, it seems you have quite the nasty chest infection, Mr. Turner.” You pick up your prescription pad, “Unfortunatelleh used to ‘em.” Alex had been dreading this diagnosis, which meant he’d have to postpone this week’s sessions, “I am sorry to hear that, is it related to your profession? There might be a prolonged treatment we could try to minimize recurrence.” Alex shakes his head, pulling his t-shirt back down.

“I am a singer, don’t fink they’ve invented a cure to damage caused by crooning around every night.” You can’t help but giggle at his answer, “Ok, so you know the drill. I’ll prescribe you some antibiotics and an anti-inflammatory, with the recommendation not to use any heavy machinery, keeping driving to a minimal and stay in bed with hot cups of tea. No need to stay no singing right?” Alex shook his head and took the prescription notes you handed to him, “Oh and if you need anything, here’s my card.”

*end of flashback*

Alex looks up from the drink he was mixing to you, “Wot?” You shake your head, “I-I, I didn’t… For a long time I didn’t know how to say this, but I can’t do this anymore, Al. I can’t.” Your voice is shaking and you are struggling to hold back the tears, “We need to break up.” He gets up for his seat, nearly knocking back the table and causing the drink to topple onto the floor, but he doesn’t seem to care, “What do yeh mean me love?” Alex hugs you, trying to comfort you as he had numerous times.

You push him away lightly, it was crucial to maintain a certain distance and not get pulled back into his orbit, “I mean that we need to break up, that I can’t do this any longer.” He looks at you and the hurt is what gets to you like a knife in the stomach, there is a glimmer in his eyes that foreshadows his feelings about breaking up. Alex blinks back the tears, clearly bewildered, “But why? I-I love yeh so much and you, do you? Why?” You knew this was going to be the hardest part, but you had never imagined it would be this awful.

“Come here.” You sit on the couch and pat the cushion next you, as he seats you can see there are tears running down his face to match the ones you weren’t able to hold back, “I do love you, Alex. More than I had ever imagined I would ever love someone.” He looks at you confused and you can’t help but smile at his expressions, “You are the kindest, most intelligent and hard-working person I have ever met. There is nothing you won’t do to make sure the people around are happy or that your project is finished, and that is truly unique. But I-I, I don’t think this is gonna work for me.”

*Two years ago*

“Hello?” You were used to unnamed calls due to your many private patients, this was LA after all and a good nose and throat doctor was high currency, “ ‘ello, it’s Alex… Alex Turner.” You smile and stop arranging the papers on your table to pay him full attention, “Hi Mr. Turner. How are you feeling?” Alex was nervous on the other side, it had been a while since he asked someone out who wasn’t a model or another musician, “Better, much better actualleh. Fanks to yeh.”

“I am glad to hear. Is there anything I can help you with?” You kept it nice and professional, you had learned quickly how the Hollywood industry worked, “I-I actualleh wanted to ask if yeh were available. For a date… Wiv me?” You found him endearing and quite handsome, but putting your career in jeopardy wasn’t something you were willing to do for any cute singer that popped into your office, “Mr. Turner, I’m afraid that violates my professional code as it wouldn’t be professional of me to go out with a patient. You do understand, Mr. Turner?”

“Yeh, I do… ‘m sorreh. Thanks doc.” You hang up and waste a few moments thinking of what could’ve been before going back to your work. The rest of the afternoon goes by rather fast and you are looking forward to a drink and some chilling when you got to your apartment later. After you locked up your surgery, you walk out to find a person sitting in the waiting room, “Excuse me, we are closed, you should return tomorrow.” 

The person gets up and you realize it’s Alex, “I’m sorry, love. I kno’ yeh said yeh didn’t fink it was professional, but please let me prove yeh otherwise… Even if this was a bit creepeh.” You take in the sight of him wearing his well-fitting black jeans and black leather jacket combo and you can’t believe what you say next, “Okay. But you can no longer be my patient got it?” He nodded smiling.

*end of flashback*

You take his hand, holding it tight and cherishing the feeling of his calloused fingers one more time, “Remember how it was when we first started dating? The media all over our business, the pressure from the fans. It was so hard to settle into this new life, remember?” He nodded, “But weh worked through it, didn’t weh? Do yeh still feel like that?” You knew this would be the hardest part and it broke your heart to do this.

“Alex, you have this beautiful life you’ve built for yourself, but I don’t feel like I can ever be a part of it because it doesn’t feel real. You spend whole periods of your life rushing to record music and then tour it, with the parties and the media to boot. I don’t feel like I fit into it as anything more than a nice sidekick to fix any mundane problems and to look good by your side.” He shook his head vehemently, “Tha’s not true! I never treated yeh like tha’.”

*6 months ago*

The photographers narrowed in on you and Alex as you crossed the Brit Awards red carpet, but after a few pictures together you were lead away from the main carpet by one of the crew and stood there with the other Monkeys’ wives and normally that wouldn’t bother you, you loved watching Alex and the boys doing their thing, but you’d caught a red eye to London the night before and you were having trouble withstanding the usual girl talk about kids and the usual affairs of the other lovely girls.

“Love, Forrest has this cough that just won’t go away. Do you think you can take a look at him tomorrow at lunch?” You smiled at Katie as politely as possible given your irritability levels, it wasn’t the poor mother’s fault, “Of course!” You had gotten used to being a doctor 24/7, because there’d always be a friend needing a hand. “Oh dear, we didn’t even ask, how are you feeling? I saw those things all over instagram.” Breana touches the one subject you had been trying to avoid.

During your vacation with Alex in the south of France the paparazzi had taken a few pictures of you and him in your bathing suits making out on the sand. The backlash about your body and total slut shaming had been nearly unbearable, you had spent countless nights alone pacing through the house thinking of all the consequences that could bear on your work. Alex had been furious, nearly fired his publicist but you knew that wouldn’t help, so you just tried to ride out the result of a couple of pictures, all because you didn’t have the perfect body people would associate with someone like Alex.

You snap out of your daydream and back to reality, “I’m better, Bre, it was… Hard. But we are good now.” She smiles and squeezes your hand, “I know it can be though sometimes, they are worth it tho.” Breana and you look back to the boys, who are now coming your way and you smile, thinking ‘yeah, he is worth it.’

*end of flashback*

“I know, you haven’t but so many other people have. I had to learn how to withstand being in the same spotlight as you, do you remember how it felt when you thrown into it?” Alex nods, raising a hand to wipe the tears that were streaming down your face, “You got into it with your beautiful work to support you and I am just the lousy girlfriend. I-I never told you how our relationship affected my work, but I don’t want to sacrifice my career to live under your light, I’m sorry.”

*Back to when Alex was writing TBHC*

You put a bowl of mac n’cheese on the table in front of where Alex was working, “Wots dis?” Taking a deep breath you resist the urge to fight with him, “Food, Alex. Remember what food looks like?” He scoffs and pushes it away, picking up his x-acto knife again, “ ‘m no ‘ungry, love. Maybeh later.” You put a hand over his and stop his movement, making him look at you, “Alex, you haven’t eaten all day. Everyday I go out to work and come back you are in this room. You’ve lost a ridiculous amount of weight, please eat this.”

Alex pushes his chair back and faces you, “I’m fine, love. I promise yeh.” He pulls you down for a kiss and you just can’t resist, “Alex, I love you, please. I am worried about you, you won’t eat and you barely sleep. Please.” You look him into the eyes and can’t hold back the tears, “Please, I am scared.” His face turns somber and he nods curtly, “Ok, me love. I promise yeh I’m okay and I’ll do better.” You brush his hair away from his face, cradling him close to you.

*end of flashback*

Alex swallowed thick, “W-Why didn’t yeh ever tell me that love?” You laugh through your tears, shoulders shaking with each sob, “I tried, but when could I tell you? When I had to be the one to remind you to eat when you hadn’t in more than a day or go to sleep after 17 hours in your studio? Or when you were away for months touring?” You take his face in your hands, wiping at the tears with your thumbs, “I cannot be the one to save you, my love. You have to do that by yourself. I am only a woman. I need someone who will give as much as I do. And I don’t mean money, I need someone who I know has the same disposition for a relationship as I do and I think we are not quite there yet.” 

You kiss his forehead and pull back to look into his deep brown eyes, “Is this tha end then? Is there anyfing I can say that’d make yeh stay?” You nod slowly no and he embraces you, wrapping a hand at the base of your skull as he always had and pulls you into a kiss. It’s so bittersweet, to think that his will be the last kiss you ever share and, still, it feels so good. “I will always love and care for you, Alex.” He nods, “And I yeh, me love.” You do the hard part and get up, “I’ll have my stuff out by the end of the week, ok?” 

“Take yehr time, love.” You nod and turn around to face the door, getting out without looking back and walking out of that venue with your head held high, knowing you did the right thing for both of you. You manage to hold your tears until you get into a cab, straight to your best friend’s house and away from the one you had to let go.


End file.
